10 funniest Phone answering messages

10. My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave your name and number, we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished.

9. Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity at the office and don't need their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and home phone number and they will get back to you.

8. This is not an answering machine - this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your number, and your reason for calling..... And I'll think about returning your call.

7. Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.

6. Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my bank, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have LOTS of money.

5. A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're not here. So, leave a message.

4. Hello! If you leave a message, I'll call you soon. If you leave a "sexy" message, I'll call sooner.

3. Hi. Now YOU say something.

2. Hi. I'm probably home; I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you.

1. Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't pick up the phone right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right...real slow. So leave a message, and when we're done brushing our teeth, we'll call you back

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Bank To Cut Home Loans

Public sector banks on Monday announced that home loans up to Rs 5 lakh (Rs 500,000) would be given at a maximum interest rate of 8.5 per cent, while those between Rs 5 lakh and Rs 20 lakh (Rs 500,000 and Rs 2 million) would be offered at 9.25 per cent.
Besides, the banks would not charge any processing fees and pre-payment charges for loans up to Rs 20 lakh, and would also provide free insurance cover, the Indian Banks Association said.
The package looks at reviving the demand in the housing industry.
· Interest rates not to exceed 8.5% for loans up to Rs 5 lakh
· Interest rates for loans between Rs 5 lakh and 20 lakh to be 9.25%.
· No processing fee or pre-payment charges, free insurance cover for loans up to Rs 20 lakh.
· PSU banks announce one percentage point cut in loans for micro, small and medium enterprises (MSMEs).